(Originally published on my Facebook page May 13, 2019)
“Speak your truth, with kindness- but unwavering.”
A very wise soul gave that advice to me during a difficult time of growth, one filled with surrender, defiance, discovery and pain. A time of saying who I was, what I believed, what I needed, and what I wouldn't tolerate. A time of finding my voice.
My visual mind immediately pictured a leaf, with “kindness” written on one half, “unwavering” written on the other, and “my truth” as the stem running through the center. I carved my mental leaf out of ebony wood and wear it on a cord around my neck every day as a reminder to respond rather than react to repercussions.
When you find your voice, and speak your truth, there are always repercussions. Whether explosive like an argument, or subtle like a millisecond frown, other people's reaction can invoke hurt, anger, shame, or a desire to retreat.
I still don't always get it right, but when I do, being kind helps me to be patient and ready to listen. It focuses the discussion on the issue and not how I spoke. And not wavering helps me to be strong. It doesn’t always mean unafraid, nor does it mean not compromising. It just means not compromising my value. This idea has been life affirming- in my relationships, my art, and how I present myself to the world.
I am beginning to recreate my leaf and send them out into the world, because I know there are others who are finding their voice and maybe needing a reminder to speak their truth, with kindness- but unwavering.
Peace and Joy… and strong kindness,
Jeff
